The Top 10 Things That Clients Say that the Coach Shouldn't Step Over

If you are a coach, you are always faced with the challenge of having your clients trust you.  If they don't trust you, they don't talk and if they don't talk, you can't coach them.  But many coaches don't understand that even when they are hesitant to talk, your clients are telling you what you need to know. Here is a list of 10 things you should listen to very carefully.

Coach: " How are you doing?"

Client:  "Things are going pretty well."

"How are you doing?" is a purely social question.  The coach  shouldn't expect a specific answer to this general a question.  Ask something more specific.

The answer indicates that the client doesn't know what the question REALLY is. But whatever they are thinking of - their response is way too general.  

Coach:  "How is that project coming?"

Client: "Well I've made great progress and it's almost complete."  

they are telling you, "I don't want to tell you I am not close to my goal.  I don't have a reliable structure to fulfill on this project."  Ask more questions about milestones and deadlines. 

Coach: " What's bothering you today?"

Client:  "Not much, things are pretty good."

In this case it is the  question from the coach which is badly conceived.  It can elicit a response based on how the client feels.  This is not useful.  Ask the question "Which problems are you having trouble overcoming." 

Coach:  "Tell me about that problem you were solving last week."

Client: "Well, I think that is is..."

"I don't know" means your client doesn't have adequate measures or isn't tracking them.

Coach: " Will your meet you targets for this month by Tuesday?"

Client: "Yes, I sure will, if I get that Jones' account."

Unless you get "Yes, absolutely" or "I've already reached it." you can assume the client is not going to make their goals for this month.  Dig deep and get the facts -- and get to the source of why they haven't met their targets earlier in the month "Sure will and "if" are usually bull.

Coach:  "Are you finding that our coaching is working for you?"

Client: "Uh, yes, I enjoy working together and like you very much."   

This isn't a party or a social event.  Not that there aren't enjoyable aspects about a coaching relationship, but if the first comment isn't about how productive your sessions are, then you are working yourself out of a job.  

Coach:  " What should I ask of you this week?"

Client: "Nothing I'm all set, thanks." 

This is an obvious put off. It is your job to keep stretching the client in ways he/she won't stretch him or herself.  Don't expect them to know what the next step is.  It is a sign of a very mature client that they can tell you what their next challenge is.  

Coach: " I know you are under a lot of pressure to reach your quota this month and you're behind.  I want to talk with you each morning for the next week for 10 minutes to be the structure of support for you, OK?"

Client: "That is generous, and I appreciate it, but I think I'll do better if I just focus more."  

There are two interpretations of this response.  1) You aren't providing value. The client sees 10 minutes with you meaning s/he has 10 minutes less to work on "important things".  

2)  S/he has decided that reaching the quota this month is optional and working with you would put pressure on that s/he is not interested in.  

Either one is a flag.  You decide which one it is.   

Coach:  "Tell me how I am helping you as a coach."

Client: "Hmmm, let me think.  Well you're very supportive and I enjoy talking with you and you're very understanding and..."  

This client has hired a best friend, not a coach.  And even then s/he had to think about it.  Happy clients know exactly what you're doing for them. 

The original questions and responses (left hand column) were written by Thomas J. Leonard , founder of CoachU.  In the right hand column, Leonard's comments were replaced  by Jennifer Guy.